Mel Gibson, a Duck, and Me.

While browsing the internet with my mind on "ChasingDucks.com," I noticed something very interesting.


I found a picture of the poster for the movie "Braveheart." And then I saw it...a duck made of flames right behind Mel Gibson.



See! A man hugging a large duck.


And then it hit me. DUCKS are everywhere.


They're everywhere.


After I recovered from my epiphany, I decided (like all other movie posters I find) to make myself a star.


w00t.

More Ghetto-osity

Remember the hose draped over the walkway? If not, this won't make sense, so read that post first.

Anyway, I didn't realize at the time that not only was it draped over the walkway, it was also threaded under another nearby walkway.



Wouldn't it have been easier to just grab one end of the hose and walk toward whatever it was being connected to than to monkey around with it?

"¡José Está Muerto!" Coming Soon

Here's a sneak peek on a movie soon to be on the blog: and it's in SPANISH

EDIT: The movie is now up, and can be seen here.


Written, Directed, Produced, and Performed by: PD Gilmore, Jake Ritter, and Zach Rhoades.


"Está muerto! Enrique, ¡José está muerto!"


"¿Como pasó...?"


"Hace muchos años."


"Mmm...¡esta salsa es buena!"


"¡Pusiste tortillas en mi salsa!"


"¡Fuego, Fuego, Panico!"


COMING SOON!

So Dizzy

I was feeling the nausea from this for at least 4 hours.

It's fun being a dumbass.

I put in subtitles since you can barely tell what I'm saying, and I also made a Spanish version for our one or two Hispanic readers.

Not Accepted

Sequels without the original cast SUCK

But since I was in this one...I probably should be recommending it.

Bobby like Pears!

Here's some nonsense I drew a while back.


Either Bobby has a means of acquiring very small pears, or he is impossibly large; you be the judge.

Battle Plans

Just thought I'd warn you....

Isaac is taking over Europe



Yeah...I'd be scared too.

Boy am I glad I'm in America.

Colorado Gulf

The drive to school is a long one for me, and with my driving skill, a hazardous one as well.



It's also hazardous when something odd catches my eye and I take a picture of it while driving. Ok, so I was stopped at a light.


Colorado has a gulf now? Oh, that's right. The Colorado Gulf.

The one that's just off of the Sea of Kansas. I think Nebraska had its statehood revoked when Lincoln, NE was engulfed by the rising sea level and the state's population dropped below ten.

It looks like you were right about one thing, Al Gore: global warming is having a major impact on our lives, but you still can't have the internet. Alright, I'll give you AOL, but I get to keep the rest.

Adding to the Pile of Bones

PD's Blackmail

This is a strange photo I took.



No comment.

Aztec Death Chamber

Reclaimed?

Ashley and I were putzing around the Forum (a local outdoor mall), and I got lost and drove behind the buildings. What we saw was a horrific sight.

A huge vat of...


reclaimed water. That's water that they drain out of your shit so they can use it again.


But the spigot wasn't turned on, so I don't know how it tastes.


Now they tell me!

Jake's Eleven

Adobe Photoshop is quite amazing. I'll be sharing the fun with you guys every once in a while.

Replacing George Clooney's head, the movie now is no longer "Ocean's Eleven," but "Jake's Eleven."

I thought I'd throw a few friends in ther too.


w00t!


Quote of the Day

Good form, Peter!
-Captain Hook.

Question of the Day
Do you see what I see?

Day of the Day
Friday

Ads in Video Games

I'm not opposed to ads in video games.


In a game like Crackdown, where there's a huge open world to explore, ads look natural.


Even ads for real products.




But what I don't like is when they get in the way and I end up running into one while trying to escape an ambush.

I hate you, Dodge.

My School is Ghetto

I know I once said that my school rocks, but sometimes it can be the ghettoest school around.

Like this.

They decided to drape this hose over the top of this walkway rather than just walking the hose through it.


Think about that for a second. The guy had to throw the end of the hose over the awning and then pull it over the other side. Efficiency is not a great consideration at Randolph.


Neither is food quality. Dane can't take pictures for shit, so I have to explain this. My mashed potatoes are dripping. DRIPPING! That's not the proper consistency for mashed potatoes.


They also make this toast that looks like it's been pissed on.


So the others at the table spread potatoes on the toast...


...and I ate it...


...which was foolish.

The next week, the potatoes were more bearable, but the fried chicken had more breading than chicken.


I give you the piss-bread, potato and chicken breading sandwich.


Somehow I have no pictures for this, but Jake and I both took a bite from the sandwich.

Kissing Myself

This is the definition of "Pride."


Quote of the Day

What's the matter Colonel Sanders...chicken?

Question of the Day
Have you kissed yourself in the mirror?

Poe of the Day
Edgar Allan

Dynamic Duo

PD and I experience fun little adventures together.

That's us being us. That black guy makes me laugh.




This would be the day we saved the world, with the help of Isaac and Tyler.


And no, that isn't my bathrobe.




When PD is getting beat up, I usually film it rather than help him out.



Yes, we pick up hot twins together, especailly those Native-American River Potters.



This is right before we put out a fire in the local CVS Pharmacy.



This is us inventing the Cotton Gin.



Ah yes, and we can't forget the time he rescued me from being run over by an airplane.


Quote of the Day

Hidalgo, Hidalgo!
-Jake and PD (usually while skipping through the halls during the year of 8th grade)

Question of the Day
Why?

Spirits

Some people from school and I went to Red Robin for the hell of it.





And I noticed their cups say "Gourmet Burgers & Spirits."

What is with that word, seriously? I don't understand why alcohol is referred to as "spirits".



But apparently I'd had some when I parked (and took this picture), as I realized upon leaving.

This is FORKED UP

Austin told me to go fork myself, so I yelled "Fork you!"

Defeat! Woe is Me!

Oh! How awful! My glorious Q-tip-shoving record was broken. I guess I'll have to accept defeat get more Q-tips.

Try nine!


NINE



But I had to cheat and take the ends off. How the hell did you fit so many Q-tips in your ear, Jake?

A Few More Q-tips!

Being a competitive youngster, I took PD's recent blog post as a challenge.

He could fit 5 Q-tips in his ear.



I fit 8!


Count them up PD! That's right! You lose! Go in your room and cry! (I almost did after this.)


Quote of the Day

The Bubble-Shooter gods are not pleased.
- Kevin Beauchman

Question of the Day
How many Q-tips can you fit in your ear?

Loser of the Day
PD

Enlarge

I get about 300-500 of these per week. Thankfully, Google has a superb spam filter.


Thanks, Ronald, Mark, Juan, Erin, Donald, Jesus, Robert, Sean and Joe, but I don't need any help there. Oh, and Mark, I don't think you're supposed to put food into it. Just an idea.

Spanish Cats

I've taken some very famous cat pictures from the internet and translated them into Spanish. Gringos can click on each picture to see the English version.


I am American Cat LOL


Drillcat will kill your family


Invisible Bike


Is it can be hugs tiem now, plees?

I made my Spanish bad on purpose for this last one, so don't go saying "Ay! No puedo leerlo!"

Feel free to steal these.

Cold War Rumors

I like to draw comics!
Every once in a while I might put one up.
Here's one of my favorites.




Quote of the Day

let's get yogurt!
-Cheerleader

Question of the Day: How much wood could a wood-chuck chuck if a wood-chuck could chuck wood?

"Spanish-speaking, young, female explorer with a pet monkey in boots" of the Day: Anna Huckles

More Q-tips

I called Austin to RSVP for his birthday party at a laser tag place, and we got talking and talking about random shit that makes no sense.

So, long story short, it came to pass that I wanted to know how many Q-tips I could fit in my ear, despite their best efforts to steer clear of said orifice.

My right ear canal is slightly bigger, so I started with that one.


We've got three...




...four...


...five Q-tips in one ear. In case you didn't notice, it hurts like hell.


Unfortunately, I could only fit four into old lefty.

The Fan

Before inteligent life, the Japaneese tried to find ways to cool themselves on hot summer days.

Instead of inventing something brilliant like Air Conditioning, they invented a more tiring cooling device called the "fan."

Not the ceiling fan, or the alluvial fan, or the soccer fan

The fan.

**********

I recently stumbled upon an ancient artifact while looking around my English classroom. The second I laid eyes on it, I knew what it was...

The first fan.


I examined the artifact and realized it had not cloth between the spokes, thus, making it useless.

Kelly soon experimented with it, and found that it could not cool her down, no matter how viggeously she tried.

***********

Japan: Yes, the fan was declared useless by the Emporor of Japan, but since they had already made 500,000,000 fans they decided that they would just give them to Egypt for it's birthday.

Egypt had a splendid birthday, but when they recieved the fans from Japan, the pondered the use of them. Finally a brillinat Egyptian discovered that if a piece of cloth was placed between the spokes, the fan could be moved in a back and forth motion to produce a slight wind. This would cool them down.

Thrilled, the Egyptians put cloth to all of the fans, and Egyptians could now keep cool on hot summer days. Thanks to the fan, the Egyptians succeded in building the pyrimads, spynx and other wonderful things that the aliens suggested. And they did it joyfully.

Egypt emailed Japan a "E-Thanks" with a fan attached. When Japan recieved it, they thought it was extremely beautiful. They then made 500,000,000 fans WITH the cloth and everyone soon had a decorative fan for their wall.

I guess they didn't get it.

The weather was still hot and the Japaneese found it hard to work. That's when the air conditioning was invented. But then Rome destroyed that and we didn't see it again until 1902 when Willis Haviland Carrier invented it.

Hooray.

Quote of the Day

All generalizations are bad.
-H.G. Wells

Question of the Day
Who left that fan in English class?

Pope of the Day
Andrew Lloyd Webber

Foreign Films Suck

Ok. Not all foreign films suck. there are a lot of sucky foreign films, though.

I was browsing through Hollywood video, and I accidentally ventured too far back in the store, where they keep the porn and foreign films.


Wasn't the English Ring 2 bad enough? This is honestly the Japanese version of the ring.


And this is from Spanish class.

Cairo, Egypt
3 Years Later

I've never seen this. This was apparently in the days before DVDs with subtitles in five languages and a making-of documentary.


Remember those crappy tapes? They had all the ads at the end, just like a cheap paper-back sci-fi novel from the 70s.





Ok, so this novel isn't technically from the 70s. Kudos to anyone who can tell from the picture when it's from.

Shopping Naked at the Holocaust

During an adventurous journey to a school competition, our bus went to a town so hickish they didn't even have cell phone service.

While riding on the bus we happened to pass an interesting store...





Yes: the sign actually says "Shop NAKED and save!"

It was only AFTER I walked into the store in my birthday suit, hoping to get a ten dollar, widescreen TV, that someone told me that the sign really was implying "We sell furniture that hasn't been painted or finished yet."

The hicks fooled me again.

And I didn't actually walk in the store naked, for you gullible readers...

Before I conclude this post I thought I might as well put another interesting sign I saw while on the trip.

Apparently the Holocaust happened before Good Friday this year...
Our group stayed in a teachers classroom and this was the first thing we saw written on the board.
Kristen and I were sure to re-enact the Holocaust in honor of Good Friday Eve.


Quote of the Day

Holy Crap, I'm stuck in a well!
-Jake

Question of the Day
How many people do you think have actually walked into that store naked?

Lame Animated Show of the Day
Doug

Gah! Stop Moving!

I take pictures of things everywhere I go, and I end up only posting about half of my pictures because they don't always turn out so well.

Escpecially while driving around.

Whatever I'm taking a picture of never stands still, so I can't line up the shot.

Like this:

I was trying to get a shot of this guy's license plate, but now I don't even remember why it was funny.


In this one my dad was driving. This was going to be my context shot for the DMV post. I guess my camera doesn't scan very quickly, as you can see by this slanted truck. Isn't that crazy?

Pumpkin

Michelle, my dad's girlfriend, has many fat orange cats.


This one is named Pumpkin.


I haven't figured that one out yet.

Spanish Class

This is Zack.



He's very sheltered. He usually does not understand PD's innuendos, even when we explain them...


Zack is in our Spanish Class, the only class PD and I share together.

PD, Zack and I often find it hard to focus in Spanish Class. Especially when watching unreasonably boring films...

While other students are working hard on the assignment...

We prefer to come up with..."alternate" ones.



Like:

Reminding the class of Spanish athletic games (such as arm wrestling)

Performing Spanish dancing rituals


and Evangelizing


Without Spanish class, I would wither up into a sack of dying trees. And without sacks of dying trees, there would be no government.



Quote of the Day

What is love? Oh baby, don't hurt me. Don't hurt me no more.
-Haddaway

Question of the Day
Who actually invented arm wrestling?

Democrat of the Day
Al Gore

Pompa

Pompa should get the star student award or something.


I look over during class and he's on his PSP. Need I say more?


But I can't blame him. Health class is boring as hell.


Boredom took hold and I eventually drifted off, only to awake with a start to the smell of whiteout and Pompa's hand right in front of my face. I jumped and Pompa spilled the whiteout on the floor.


Quick! Cover it with something.


Someone's bound to notice eventually.

New Author and Portrait

Things are picking up around the Crazy Photo Blog. Our first author, other than me, is Jake.

I've mentioned him before. Twice, in fact.

I'm hoping that the addition of a new author will bring some variety to the style of stuff on here.

Also, I have two new portrait pictures:



There's a story behind the Q-tips. Trust me. I'll get to it eventually.

Sir Jake is Here!

Yes, it is true. I have arrived and I'll be bringing lots of photos with me too!

I might as well introduce myself for all of you gangstas (yes, the kind without the 'r') who are just searching randomness on google. My name is Jake (hence the Sir Jake), I am a 16 year old who likes possums, gum, and sneaking into Lutheran Conventions (I got an awesome shirt from that!)


See my top hat...it's not real! Neither is that fuzzy blonde beard! If you imagine that guy in the picture without a top hat and fuzzy blonde beard, you will probably have a rough image in your mind of what I look like!

Ok...enough said for now! See you later bloggers!