My finger is was a nasty mess, so I wrote on my hand to keep my mind off of it.
Here are some Icons of High Society:
Aston Martin
Mont Blanc
Rolex
And Burger King.
Drawing that made me hungry, so I went to burger king after school.
They have this thing where they're making crappy Xbox Arcade Titles and selling them for $4. Hell, why not? Let's buy one.
So, like Mom always told me to, I ate my meal before playing with my toy.
Wow. It's actually professionally done. No cardboard envelopes for these guys.
But there's burger grease all over the shrink-wrap.
Oh, boy! I get 48 hours of Xbox live with this game. Seriously. 48 hours. No joke.
The game consists of sneaking up on people to try to keep them unaware of your presence until you spring up behind them with food. I was entertained for about an hour by this.
This excretion is marked with labels:
food,
nasty,
video games
Why would someone make this?
I'm actually appalled. That doesn't happen too often. Now, don't get me wrong, I don't hate rap, but giving your baby a toy that looks like a happy frog who is quite obviously just like the dumbass people who wish they were gangsters, and is singing the most worthless song ever to have been written is the most asinine thing ever. That's like having a Paris Hilton doll.
Now I'm not saying that a kid is going to emulate everything they see, but honestly, what value is there in this? How could it possibly be entertaining in any way? I saw this guy seeing if his baby liked this toy. The baby was completely uninterested (he'll grow up to be sensible), but the dad was all into it. I only found it entertaining because of how stupid it is.
Grow up, people. "Gangster" used to be a bad label to be branded with. Seriously, just stop being douche-bags, all of you.
Even if you don't speak Spanish, these are pretty funny.
Here are some more that I've made.
And some of them have poorly spelt Spanish on purpose. They're cats, and consequently can't spell.
As always, click the image to see the gringo version.
Cast Magic Missile
This one's a classic:
Im in ur fridge eatin ur foodz
I'm not sure if "ocultando" is the right word for "hiding."
I ar hiding
u kant c mee
Kitty has reached critical mass
Do you want karate?
And here's the kicker:
I am in your forum, posting in a grammatically accurate manner.
Y solomente para enojar a "Oops", el chico muy simpático del Cbox, voy a escribir en español al final de todos mis artículos nuevos. ¡Jajaja!
This excretion is marked with labels:
animals,
Spanish,
Spanish lolcats
This is a friend's car, whose identity I am protecting by blurring out the license plate.
My picture focuses on the stuff other than the number.
If stars fell on Alabama, wouldn't it burn up? Hopefully.
"Dude, last night, on Runescape..."
One week when I was sick, I tried out this game, Runescape, that was all-the-rage among my friends. I remember that rush of excitement when I got my woodcutting level up to 2. I also remember the rush of boredom when I had to spend more than 15 minutes trying to level up again.
Quote of the Day
You suck ass. Big ass. And I don't mean the sexy kind of big ass; I mean sumo-big ass.
-PD
This excretion is marked with labels:
classic,
comics,
drawings,
video games
On the back of any recent box of Cheez-Its is a clever little ad that equates the amount of flavour in each piece to that of a large wedge of cheese.
They put this on the back of boxes of BIG Cheez-Its, too.
But they neglect to adjust the illustration accordingly.
"Golly-gee! Drawing is fun!"
As you probably already know, I love to make comics and odd drawings.
That's why I always keep a pen in my pocket for easy accessibility.
(oh yeah...and it helps with getting assignments done.)
Unfortunately one of my pens broke in my pocket. Now my jeans look like crap.
Since coming up with an innuendo would be way to easy for this picture...I'll let you come up with your own. Leave a comment if you've got a good one.
The school scheduled an awards ceremony for the day I was sick from tainted quesadillas. Nice going, Randolph!
Rather than going to the ceremony, I ate Chinese food. The fortune cookie is my favourite part, because I like to read it with a Chinese accent.
But this one was funny enough on its own.
Don't stop now!
Oh, don't worry; I won't.
This excretion is marked with labels:
photoshop/fireworks
Being dysgraphic sucks when I have to write on a worksheet.
But Dane, your little drawing under my work is way more n00bish than my writing.
Some of us never recovered...
Doritos aren't very good for you.
They won't even tell you how much cholesterol is in them.
All they say is, "Cholesterol... OMG!"
On another note, I stuck a fork through two oranges.
Jake is studying for a horribly difficult history test coming up tomorrow, so no post from him today.
Speaking of history, in my history class, we were watching a video, so naturally, I unwound and hung my hands over the edge of the desk...
...only to be greeted with a big, slimy wad of gum.
I wasn't about to take this sitting down.
But someone else was going to.
Here's another driving snapshot.
Is that the only colour they do?
What if I want to paint my house queertaupe?
"OMGOMGOMG!!! GaYtAn is the BEST!!!! And they wear these cute little outfits too, OMGz!!!!"
So Dane and I were in Whataburger...
...and I saw this outlet and thought, "Why would you go to the trouble to tilt the sockets?"
If anyone knows the answer to this one, let me know. I'm stumped.
According to Jake, this is because of those big plugs that block both outlets, so if they're tilted, they only take up one.
Anyway, they also give you these huge cups.
This is supposed to be medium. The thing is so big it has to have a little indent around the bottom to fit in a cupholder.
The thing won't even fit into the little trash-hole.
On my trip to the beach I couldn't help notice how some birds were of sitting on the wooden posts in the ground
Quite a few....
They are watching...
They are waiting....
Only Alfred Hitchcock knew what would happen next:
ATTACK!
This excretion is marked with labels:
animals,
childhood flashback,
Jake,
rare find
I could have sworn it was May.
Why does this store exist all year?
This is consistent with my theory of Christmas Loop:
I will begin by explaining hype theory.
Newton's lesser-known fourth law states that an event's length multiplies over repetitions by a factor of its hype. Thus, an event such as Dick Cheney's birthday, having a hype-to-worthwhile-ness ratio of around 0.68:1, multiplies in length annually by a factor of 0.68, effectively shrinking by 32% every year. This means that after his first birthday, which, naturally, lasted 24 hours, his birthday shortened to 68% of its length the previous year every year. So on January 30, 2007, Dick Cheney's 66th birthday, his birthday lasted a measly 7.62258 x 10-7 seconds (roughly 762 nanoseconds).
In short, Dick Cheney's birthday lasts less and less time each year due to the fact that nobody gives a shit about Dick Cheney's birthday.
The same principle applies to Christmas. Christmas is a very joyous time of year, but research shows that its hype slightly outweighs its worthwhile-ness, giving Christmas a 1.0022:1 hype-to-worthwhile-ness ratio. So, over the course of 2006 years (no Christmas yet this year), Christmas has grown from one day to 82 days, which sounds about right, considering the stores began the Christmas season in mid-October last year.
Growing at this rate, Christmas will, by the year 2685 last over 365 days. The Christmas season will be a year-round event. (Incidentally, by the following leap year, 2688, Christmas will have gained 2 days, accounting for the extra day tacked on to the year.)
But here's the fun part: once Christmas has reached year-round status, it will become commonplace, resulting in a decline in hype, causing the process to work in reverse. Christmas will gradually lose day after day until it is only a nanosecond or two, effectively non-existent.
In conclusion: Christmas will build and build until it is year-round at which point it will begin a decline into obscurity.
And that, my friends, is the theory of Christmas Loop. Before you ask, I really did do all those calculations. Those aren't just random numbers. Go ahead, check my work, I dare you.
On second thought, we should be a few years away from Christmas in May, so I'm still baffled by the sign.
Did you know...
That Febreeze is made by the IAMS company?
That's the company that makes the cat food.
Here's the movie that you've all been patiently awaiting: ¡José está Muerto!
It took us about 3½ hours to film this beauty, 3⅓ of which were spent re-taking Zack's shots. For the math-impaired, that's 10 minutes shooting the movie and 3:20 spent groaning in frustration.
Then it took three eight-hour nights editing and trying to make the damned thing re-mux. It was only completed partially. The trash can was full of DVDs by the end of that third night. The first garbage disk was silent, the second was black-and-white, and the third had compression issues and ended up resampling at 2 frames per second.
The fourth try was only good enough to play on one very strange school computer and on my Xbox. I'm still trying to make it work on a real DVD, but the semi-garbage disk was good enough to get a grade in Spanish class and the Google video is suitable for you guys.
Enjoy!
Growing up in Wyoming, I didn't live in a house or with a family...
I lived with Britt and Claire Jeeder in a small shack.
We slept on beds of Grass.
This excretion is marked with labels:
childhood flashback,
Jake
This is a shameful mockery of all that is gaming.
But at only $4.99, I'd be willing to compromise a large portion of my dignity to buy it. Or not.
I doubt that these things that are illustrated on the cover all happen at the same time, or else this game must suck even more than I previously thought.
This excretion is marked with labels:
rare find,
video games
In this awful class I have called DGA, we had to make little cartoons of ourselves singing.
Ruby, the girl who sits next to me, is, in general, a very good artist. But she often becomes dissatisfied with her work and redraws it close-up.
The results are often less than stellar.
This doesn't look at all like her.
But I bet it took her like 3 hours to shade the upper lip.
In conclusion: Your mom goes to college!
This excretion is marked with labels:
school
Before I lived in Texas, I lived in a state that nobody remembers...Wyoming!
As you can see, Wyoming is absolutely no where near water...
But somehow our backyard still managed to flood...
With TUMBLEWEEDS
and yes...this was before I hit puberty...
This excretion is marked with labels:
childhood flashback,
Jake
See this purified water?
I don't think purification standards are quite what they used to be.
