More Flea Market Madness

As I mentioned in the previous post, a bunch of us from my Spanish class went to a flea market a few days ago.

There were all sorts of ridiculous things for sale. David found this wrestler mask that was too small for his hair to fit in it.


I don't even think Steve (left) can see out of that one.




Cole constructed crude visual innuendos with food, garbage and flea market toys.


And Steve... did this.


But Joey bought the most awesome thing in the flea market:



The thing is made awfully flimsily for something that people are going to drop. The screen is now cracked.

Gotta Catch 'Em All!

Steve, Joey and I, as well as all the other Spanish 3 and 4 students at our school, went to a flea market the other day.

And, as usual, I saw something weird and just had to take pictures of it.


It's one of those temporary tattoo machines! Hell yes!


So, of course I bought one.


Victory was mine! For only fifty measly cents, I'd purchased a tattoo of the single most awesome children's cartoon nonsense ever!


So the next day in Spanish class, I picked a spot with little enough hair that the tattoo would stick.


I hastily stuck it to my belly with a wet napkin, but soon realised that I'd forgotten to read the directions before I stuck it to myself.

Was it 30 seconds or 30 minutes?

Whew! It was 30 seconds. And just look at that beauty!


Actually, I've never even heard of a Pokemon called Carnivine. What happened to good old Pikachu and Squirtle?


Screw you, Carnivinegay!

Vandalism is even better when it's on a person rather than a thing.


Quote Time
[Mr. Katz, a psychotic substitute teacher at my school, started yelling something toward my lunch table]
Mr. Katz: [incoherent babble] [something that sounds like "gonorrhoea"] [incoherent babble]
Me: What? Who has gonorrhoea?
Mr. Katz: You have gonorrhoea? Congratulations! [starts clapping] Join the club!
Me: [blank stare]

It should be noted that people usually only say "join the club" if they themselves are in "the club."

new profile thumbnails:

Girly Jacket and Muffins

Oh, how I love Spanish class!

My shenanigans are at their height in third period.

This picture reminds me of my friend Courtney. She's a wild one, she is. I bought her the above jacket on the promise that she'd pay me back. I did get my money back, but not before bugging her about it for weeks.


Classic bumper sticker for an atheist. Atheists, unite!

Anyway, I'm terribly off-topic. This post was originally supposed to be about the taste testing of new foods at my school. The food at my school is notoriously horrible. I guess somebody finally realised this and decided to get new food. They picked at random a few dozen people from various classes and called them into a room to taste the new stuff. Joey was one of them.

When he got back to Spanish, Joey's pockets were bulging with food. He produced several muffins, which Steve and I devoured ravenously.

[Steve and I finish our muffins.]
Joey: Man, the pizza was pretty good, too.
Me: What? You brought us muffins when there was pizza?
Joey: Erm... yes.
Steve: Muffins rather than pizza? Really?
Joey: Yeah.
Me: Dude, Joey, pizza trumps muffins by a long shot.
Joey: But... I like muffins.

Big Mexican Balls

This is my Mexican friend, Angel.

He likes to brag about the size of his balls, but I didn't believe him until this:


Curiously, a couple of baseballs plopped out of his pant legs some time later, but I doubt that had anything to do with his monstrous gonads.

Speaking of all things Mexican and obscene:

(for gringos, it actually means "You are an asshole")

Turkeys?

And you thought you'd had all the Spanish cats you could handle! Here's a new one, fresh out of the internets and my Spanish dictionary.

(mouse over for English)

Spanish Cats 2

Even if you don't speak Spanish, these are pretty funny.
Here are some more that I've made.

And some of them have poorly spelt Spanish on purpose. They're cats, and consequently can't spell.

As always, click the image to see the gringo version.


Cast Magic Missile

This one's a classic:

Im in ur fridge eatin ur foodz

I'm not sure if "ocultando" is the right word for "hiding."

I ar hiding
u kant c mee


Kitty has reached critical mass


Do you want karate?

And here's the kicker:


I am in your forum, posting in a grammatically accurate manner.

Y solomente para enojar a "Oops", el chico muy simpático del Cbox, voy a escribir en español al final de todos mis artículos nuevos. ¡Jajaja!

¡José está Muerto!

Here's the movie that you've all been patiently awaiting: ¡José está Muerto!



It took us about 3½ hours to film this beauty, 3⅓ of which were spent re-taking Zack's shots. For the math-impaired, that's 10 minutes shooting the movie and 3:20 spent groaning in frustration.

Then it took three eight-hour nights editing and trying to make the damned thing re-mux. It was only completed partially. The trash can was full of DVDs by the end of that third night. The first garbage disk was silent, the second was black-and-white, and the third had compression issues and ended up resampling at 2 frames per second.

The fourth try was only good enough to play on one very strange school computer and on my Xbox. I'm still trying to make it work on a real DVD, but the semi-garbage disk was good enough to get a grade in Spanish class and the Google video is suitable for you guys.

Enjoy!

"¡José Está Muerto!" Coming Soon

Here's a sneak peek on a movie soon to be on the blog: and it's in SPANISH

EDIT: The movie is now up, and can be seen here.


Written, Directed, Produced, and Performed by: PD Gilmore, Jake Ritter, and Zach Rhoades.


"Está muerto! Enrique, ¡José está muerto!"


"¿Como pasó...?"


"Hace muchos años."


"Mmm...¡esta salsa es buena!"


"¡Pusiste tortillas en mi salsa!"


"¡Fuego, Fuego, Panico!"


COMING SOON!

So Dizzy

I was feeling the nausea from this for at least 4 hours.

It's fun being a dumbass.

I put in subtitles since you can barely tell what I'm saying, and I also made a Spanish version for our one or two Hispanic readers.

Spanish Cats

I've taken some very famous cat pictures from the internet and translated them into Spanish. Gringos can click on each picture to see the English version.


I am American Cat LOL


Drillcat will kill your family


Invisible Bike


Is it can be hugs tiem now, plees?

I made my Spanish bad on purpose for this last one, so don't go saying "Ay! No puedo leerlo!"

Feel free to steal these.

Foreign Films Suck

Ok. Not all foreign films suck. there are a lot of sucky foreign films, though.

I was browsing through Hollywood video, and I accidentally ventured too far back in the store, where they keep the porn and foreign films.


Wasn't the English Ring 2 bad enough? This is honestly the Japanese version of the ring.


And this is from Spanish class.

Cairo, Egypt
3 Years Later

I've never seen this. This was apparently in the days before DVDs with subtitles in five languages and a making-of documentary.


Remember those crappy tapes? They had all the ads at the end, just like a cheap paper-back sci-fi novel from the 70s.





Ok, so this novel isn't technically from the 70s. Kudos to anyone who can tell from the picture when it's from.

Spanish Class

This is Zack.



He's very sheltered. He usually does not understand PD's innuendos, even when we explain them...


Zack is in our Spanish Class, the only class PD and I share together.

PD, Zack and I often find it hard to focus in Spanish Class. Especially when watching unreasonably boring films...

While other students are working hard on the assignment...

We prefer to come up with..."alternate" ones.



Like:

Reminding the class of Spanish athletic games (such as arm wrestling)

Performing Spanish dancing rituals


and Evangelizing


Without Spanish class, I would wither up into a sack of dying trees. And without sacks of dying trees, there would be no government.



Quote of the Day

What is love? Oh baby, don't hurt me. Don't hurt me no more.
-Haddaway

Question of the Day
Who actually invented arm wrestling?

Democrat of the Day
Al Gore

Wait... That Ain't No Spanish

This is one of the class set of Spanish books.


How marvellously immature. I love it.

Ceiling Cat

If you've never seen Ceiling Cat before, go look it up on Google. I don't feel like finding it for you.

Anyway, here's the awesome version I'm hanging in my room:

Chit, mang! I don' speak no Spanish or something.

This is the school's token hardcore Mexican.


MEXICAN
"SA-BOI" (San Antonio)
"210" (San Antonio's area code)
TEXAS


Definitely Mexican!

But I know more Spanish than he does. Estoy triste porque muchos hispanicos no hablan español.