More Flea Market Madness

As I mentioned in the previous post, a bunch of us from my Spanish class went to a flea market a few days ago.

There were all sorts of ridiculous things for sale. David found this wrestler mask that was too small for his hair to fit in it.


I don't even think Steve (left) can see out of that one.




Cole constructed crude visual innuendos with food, garbage and flea market toys.


And Steve... did this.


But Joey bought the most awesome thing in the flea market:



The thing is made awfully flimsily for something that people are going to drop. The screen is now cracked.

Girly Jacket and Muffins

Oh, how I love Spanish class!

My shenanigans are at their height in third period.

This picture reminds me of my friend Courtney. She's a wild one, she is. I bought her the above jacket on the promise that she'd pay me back. I did get my money back, but not before bugging her about it for weeks.


Classic bumper sticker for an atheist. Atheists, unite!

Anyway, I'm terribly off-topic. This post was originally supposed to be about the taste testing of new foods at my school. The food at my school is notoriously horrible. I guess somebody finally realised this and decided to get new food. They picked at random a few dozen people from various classes and called them into a room to taste the new stuff. Joey was one of them.

When he got back to Spanish, Joey's pockets were bulging with food. He produced several muffins, which Steve and I devoured ravenously.

[Steve and I finish our muffins.]
Joey: Man, the pizza was pretty good, too.
Me: What? You brought us muffins when there was pizza?
Joey: Erm... yes.
Steve: Muffins rather than pizza? Really?
Joey: Yeah.
Me: Dude, Joey, pizza trumps muffins by a long shot.
Joey: But... I like muffins.

Potatoes

It was my understanding, prior to visiting my mother over Christmas break, that cats are carnivores.

Erm... potato?


Do cats ordinarily eat potatoes?

Wait. Why am I asking you guys what cats do? I'm the one with twelve cats.

Unfortunately, only nine were on the couch for this shot. Two more are behind it, and one is at my feet. Not now, but when I was taking the picture.



Instead of a quote of the day, I give you a conversation of the day:


Conversation of the Day

Stacey: The word "prick" is primarily British.
PD: I've never heard a Brit say "prick."
Stacey: What are you talking about? British people love prick.

Alright, readers, I know you want me to get my act together and start posting regularly, but here's the deal: I'm pretty busy lately. I'll tell you what I'll do: I'm going on blog-holiday for the rest of February. Starting 1 March, I'll give you at least two posts per week, and I may even get Jake to start posting again. How does that sound, masses?

Also, if any of you think you'd be good writers for the blog, email me a sample blog entry or two at MisterPD@gmail.com. If I like your stuff a lot, you may become the third author. If I like it somewhat, I'll post it with your name on it. If I hate it, I'll sign you up for the Ku Klux Klan email newsletter. Ok, maybe not that last bit. Besides, NAMBLA is far more awkward to have in your inbox.

Poker at Jake's

I went over to Jake's house a while ago for a crazy poker night with Forrest and Tyler. It was pretty kick-the-ass.

One thing that bugs me, though, about going to Jake's house is that he often has no soda except for Dr. Pepper.

I severely hate Dr. Pepper. I hate it so much that when Jake told me he had no other soda, I checked the fridge for myself and took the only other drink I could find.


Diet Lemon Brisk tea. Yes. I did it. That's how much I hate Dr. Pepper. It's like piss in a can. At least Diet Lemon Brisk tea doesn't taste like bodily fluids.

Anyway, I won at poker that night. We played Hold 'Em, and I won with a pair of 8s and a pair of Jacks.


Of course, with my astounding poker face,

it was inevitable.

The Brave Crusaders

Today in history in 1098, during the First Crusade, the Massacre of Ma'arrat al-Numan took place.

Here's me as a brave Crusader!



After getting over the town walls, the Crusaders killed around 20,000 people inside.

Soon afterward, they realized they had no food and resorted to cannibalism.



It's a no wonder the Crusaders were considered such brave heros.

Make sure you pat one on the back today!

Mini Cooper and Burgers

I have part of an essay to write, so I'm just doing two quickies today.

First up, ads.
This one was from a bus stop in Barcelona. The image is supposed to be Elvis Presley as an old man.

ELVIS LIVES
The new Mini Cooper is finally diesel.
Now all the incredulous (non-believers) will believe.

I thought that one was pretty funny when I saw it on the street. It's supposed to be likening the Mini Cooper in diesel to "Elvis lives!" or "when pigs fly." It's pretty witty if you get it.

Another ad, this time from Paris:


I'm not sure I get this one. It's supposed to be Colonel Sanders wearing a McDonalds hat and with buck teeth. Could someone explain this to me?

Speaking of McDonalds:

The McDonalds in Barcelona makes tiny cheeseburgers.



I know. I know. Lame!

I'll get more pictures from my phone soon. I know you're all tired of Europe by now.

It's just that my computer doesn't connect to my phone, so in order to upload my pictures, I have to use someone else's computer. That's not happening for a while, but hopefully it's a short while because I need fresh pictures.

So I'm off to write me up an essay. Later, ducks.

Spray Butter

It seems to be fashionable to call oneself OCD nowadays, but I really think I am. It was worse when I was younger, much worse, but now it only flares up when I do things like butter bread.

(mumbling) "Stupid butter clumping up on my bread. Got to get it into that little corner."

I used to always think I was doomed to wander aimlessly, trying to spread butter evenly for eternity.


But then, something caught my eye.

No, it couldn't be. Could it? Could it ever be so?
I think it could! Oh, praise the heavens, it's:

SPRAY BUTTER

Finally, I can coat my bread in a perfectly even, balanced film of butter, leaving no clumps or lumps.

Now if they could just make spray peanut butter and spray jelly, all would be right with the world.

And for those who like pictures of kittens licking melted cheese:

A picture of a kitten licking melted cheese.

There are only three more days left to vote in our latest poll. Choose wisely.

PD out.

AirPORT Food

I've been denied food in all manner of airports, theme parks, movie theatres and ticketed events because my parents didn't want to pay for the overpriced "good" food.

Well, on my way to Europe, in the Newark,New Jersey airport, I finally had my chance. With no adults around to tell me not to, I took the opportunity to sample the airport cuisine.

See? "Gourmet." Any word with a silent consonant must mean good food. Plus it's got some German guy's name on it.

So I picked up my roast beef sandwich. It looked pretty good.

(Notice it's "roasted" beef. The -ed at the end screams "This sandwich doesn't suck!")

Tasted pretty good, too.

Mmm... nothing better than tasty, blurry roast beef sandwiches.


But nine bucks?

It wasn't that good.

Alright! Ok! I'll admit it, Mom and Dad were right; I was wrong.

But I still got a really good sandwich, so it's ok.

One more thing. If you live in Northeast San Antonio (Most of my readers do, I assume.), check out DiMN.tk. It's a really cool project I'll be starting up with the help of Sir Jaker and Ashley later this year.

Taco Factory

PD, Isaac and I went to Target for the heck of it the other day.

We purchased something quite amusing.

"Taco Factory"

It included peach taco shells, cherry meat, lemon cheese, watermelon lettuce and strawberry tomatoes, if that makes any sense.

Once we opened the box, we found that the bag was child proof.

Everything looked like normal gummi stuff except the cheese, which came in a large gooey ball.

Isaac almost ate it, but we insisted it be put on the tacos.

The three of us assembled our tacos and ate up!

We each stated our thoughts on the gummi tacos afterwards.

"It tastes a lot like paper." -PD

PD finished his taco but did not help himself to another.

"This is the most disgusting crap I've ever had!" -Isaac

Isaac took one bite from his and immediately stopped eating it.

"Delicious!" -Jake

After finishing my taco with great speed, I finished off Isaac's and ate all the leftovers.

In conclusion, I give the Taco Factory a thumbs up for delicious gummi goodness.

However, the other two guys wouldn't suggest it to you.

A Large Banana

Recently, San Antonio got a lot of rain.

I was wondering why I had to take a detour from a highway when I suddenly came across this:

The highway: underwater.

As I ventured along the deserted road and noticed something funny.

It seemed to be a very large banana caught up against a tree.

Suddenly two kayakers paddled into view on a mission to get the big banana.

Nature rejected them this oppurtunity however, and threw them down the river, past the banana, and perhaps: to a very gruesome death.

I thought of trying to get the large banana myself, but then I decided, unlike the two kayakers, that I didn't need a big banana. So I went home.

Perhaps one day the large banana will be returned to its original owner.

Rare Find or Innapropriate Girl?

The other day at PD's house, I found a pile of Ashley's clothes and two oranges on a counter

My first question was: What were Ashley's clothes doing at PD's house...?


My second was: Did Ashley purposely put the oranges there?






Knowing Ashley...probably.

Burger King

My finger is was a nasty mess, so I wrote on my hand to keep my mind off of it.




Here are some Icons of High Society:


Aston Martin


Mont Blanc


Rolex


And Burger King.


Drawing that made me hungry, so I went to burger king after school.


They have this thing where they're making crappy Xbox Arcade Titles and selling them for $4. Hell, why not? Let's buy one.


So, like Mom always told me to, I ate my meal before playing with my toy.


Wow. It's actually professionally done. No cardboard envelopes for these guys.


But there's burger grease all over the shrink-wrap.


Oh, boy! I get 48 hours of Xbox live with this game. Seriously. 48 hours. No joke.


The game consists of sneaking up on people to try to keep them unaware of your presence until you spring up behind them with food. I was entertained for about an hour by this.

Actual, Meaning False

On the back of any recent box of Cheez-Its is a clever little ad that equates the amount of flavour in each piece to that of a large wedge of cheese.


They put this on the back of boxes of BIG Cheez-Its, too.



But they neglect to adjust the illustration accordingly.

Egg Toss

Cafeteria Madness

Doritos aren't very good for you.



They won't even tell you how much cholesterol is in them.

All they say is, "Cholesterol... OMG!"



On another note, I stuck a fork through two oranges.

Made in Mexico

See this purified water?


I don't think purification standards are quite what they used to be.

My School is Ghetto

I know I once said that my school rocks, but sometimes it can be the ghettoest school around.

Like this.

They decided to drape this hose over the top of this walkway rather than just walking the hose through it.


Think about that for a second. The guy had to throw the end of the hose over the awning and then pull it over the other side. Efficiency is not a great consideration at Randolph.


Neither is food quality. Dane can't take pictures for shit, so I have to explain this. My mashed potatoes are dripping. DRIPPING! That's not the proper consistency for mashed potatoes.


They also make this toast that looks like it's been pissed on.


So the others at the table spread potatoes on the toast...


...and I ate it...


...which was foolish.

The next week, the potatoes were more bearable, but the fried chicken had more breading than chicken.


I give you the piss-bread, potato and chicken breading sandwich.


Somehow I have no pictures for this, but Jake and I both took a bite from the sandwich.

Spirits

Some people from school and I went to Red Robin for the hell of it.





And I noticed their cups say "Gourmet Burgers & Spirits."

What is with that word, seriously? I don't understand why alcohol is referred to as "spirits".



But apparently I'd had some when I parked (and took this picture), as I realized upon leaving.

Flavours

I was getting a ride from Dane a few weeks ago, before I had a license.


So he's cleaning out his car and I see this.


Wouldn't one flavour have been enough? Three flavours is just nasty, but I guess the people who come up with new flavours think "the more, the merrier."

For instance, this bland can of strawberry kiwi should have more flavours. But no need to pay an expensive design team.


I've got your new flavour right here.

School Food Revisited

I swear I'll stop bitching about the food at my school eventually.

Ok, I thought that maybe they'd changed the recipe and gotten the burgers right for once.


Unfortunately, the latter cannot be said.




And the Jell-o! A hideous concoction!


Usually, when one scoops a chunk from a block of jello, it leaves holes.






The same does not go for red, sugary soup.


And why, sweet, merciful Jesus, does this jello splash.




Jello isn't supposed to do that.