More Flea Market Madness

As I mentioned in the previous post, a bunch of us from my Spanish class went to a flea market a few days ago.

There were all sorts of ridiculous things for sale. David found this wrestler mask that was too small for his hair to fit in it.


I don't even think Steve (left) can see out of that one.




Cole constructed crude visual innuendos with food, garbage and flea market toys.


And Steve... did this.


But Joey bought the most awesome thing in the flea market:



The thing is made awfully flimsily for something that people are going to drop. The screen is now cracked.

Learning the Hard Way

Behold! The versatile, powerful hot glue gun.

It's great for fastening things.

I got the bright idea to fasten a cotton ball to my chin so that I'd look like Colonel Sanders.

That weird face I'm making?

It turns out that hot glue is fucking hot!


Then Steve thought it would be cool to rip it off.


As Honesty (the 'H' is pronounced) points out...


Second-degree burns and the tearing of flesh don't go well together.


Learn from my experience, children. Never hot-glue anything to your chin, then rip it off.

My Hand!

I hope the video works.

Avoidance Methods

Lately, I have begun to question the effectiveness of employing the recommended methods for avoiding bear and shark attacks



Method 1 Fetal Position - Bears


Yes...This appears very effective. the human in this illustration has managed to fold himself into a convenient package for the bear to pick up and transport easily until he becomes hungry.



I mean really: did the so called experts think that the bear would overlook the person in danger or trip and get a bad scratch rendering him incapable of destroying an enemy half his size and weight?



Method #2 Punching - Sharks


"Expert Advice" - to fend off an attacking shark, punch it in the nose, gills, or eyes and it will swim away, defeated.

Yeah....Right

Phone-imation

You all know that my phone takes decent pictures, but when I was in Barcelona, I discovered that it also does a sort of crude animation. Here I am at the Park Güell, a large, multi-level park made by artist Antoni Gaudí.

Check out this Frame-O-Rama of me leaping gracefully from this odd outcropping in the wall.

Mouse over the picture for framey goodness. It takes a second to load.

The title piece took more time to make than the actual animation.

But who am I kidding? You're all cheap, good-for-nothing thrill-seekers. (Insult is the sincerest form of flattery.) You just want video, what with your new-fangled YouTube and Myspace.

Here was my first attempt at running along this wall.

I hadn't really gotten a feel for the curve of the wall.

My second attempt got me further, but...

...eh... the second attempt hurt a bit more, as well.

The third time was a charm, though.

Barcelona's walls kick San Antonio's walls' ass.

I'm Blue

Blue balls make me sad.


I will say no more about this.

So Dizzy

I was feeling the nausea from this for at least 4 hours.

It's fun being a dumbass.

I put in subtitles since you can barely tell what I'm saying, and I also made a Spanish version for our one or two Hispanic readers.

Defeat! Woe is Me!

Oh! How awful! My glorious Q-tip-shoving record was broken. I guess I'll have to accept defeat get more Q-tips.

Try nine!


NINE



But I had to cheat and take the ends off. How the hell did you fit so many Q-tips in your ear, Jake?

A Few More Q-tips!

Being a competitive youngster, I took PD's recent blog post as a challenge.

He could fit 5 Q-tips in his ear.



I fit 8!


Count them up PD! That's right! You lose! Go in your room and cry! (I almost did after this.)


Quote of the Day

The Bubble-Shooter gods are not pleased.
- Kevin Beauchman

Question of the Day
How many Q-tips can you fit in your ear?

Loser of the Day
PD

More Q-tips

I called Austin to RSVP for his birthday party at a laser tag place, and we got talking and talking about random shit that makes no sense.

So, long story short, it came to pass that I wanted to know how many Q-tips I could fit in my ear, despite their best efforts to steer clear of said orifice.

My right ear canal is slightly bigger, so I started with that one.


We've got three...




...four...


...five Q-tips in one ear. In case you didn't notice, it hurts like hell.


Unfortunately, I could only fit four into old lefty.

Red hand

This is Austin. He's weird.

He tends to give high fives with a lot of... enthusiasm.



See the red? See it? That's Austin's fault.

PE Exam

The title doesn't lie. I had an exam in my gym class. It was also the last day I'd see my PE textbook.

Any Body Can...be fit! No. Some people are just fat lards that will never be fit.


The stretch diagrams are tremendous fun. Let's start with the hang-glider:


The mutated-short-leg


Dead-man:


Stretching rack:


I'm so emo I'm going to rip my head off:


Another Dead-person stretch:


We see here a student practicing the dead stretch:

But, as you can clearly see, she's doing it wrong.

I'll demonstrate the correct technique.