For physics class, Jake and I had to make a series of pictures demonstrating physics concepts.
So, being the over-achievers that we are (heh...) we made a video instead.
Jake somehow got credit for this in his history class as well, even though the two seconds of historical content was made up.
Steve, Joey and I, as well as all the other Spanish 3 and 4 students at our school, went to a flea market the other day.
And, as usual, I saw something weird and just had to take pictures of it.
It's one of those temporary tattoo machines! Hell yes!
So, of course I bought one.
Victory was mine! For only fifty measly cents, I'd purchased a tattoo of the single most awesome children's cartoon nonsense ever!
So the next day in Spanish class, I picked a spot with little enough hair that the tattoo would stick.
I hastily stuck it to my belly with a wet napkin, but soon realised that I'd forgotten to read the directions before I stuck it to myself.
Was it 30 seconds or 30 minutes?
Whew! It was 30 seconds. And just look at that beauty!
Actually, I've never even heard of a Pokemon called Carnivine. What happened to good old Pikachu and Squirtle?
Screw you, Carnivinegay!
Vandalism is even better when it's on a person rather than a thing.
Quote Time
[Mr. Katz, a psychotic substitute teacher at my school, started yelling something toward my lunch table]
Mr. Katz: [incoherent babble] [something that sounds like "gonorrhoea"] [incoherent babble]
Me: What? Who has gonorrhoea?
Mr. Katz: You have gonorrhoea? Congratulations! [starts clapping] Join the club!
Me: [blank stare]
It should be noted that people usually only say "join the club" if they themselves are in "the club."
new profile thumbnails:
Oh, how I love Spanish class!
My shenanigans are at their height in third period.
This picture reminds me of my friend Courtney. She's a wild one, she is. I bought her the above jacket on the promise that she'd pay me back. I did get my money back, but not before bugging her about it for weeks.
Classic bumper sticker for an atheist. Atheists, unite!
Anyway, I'm terribly off-topic. This post was originally supposed to be about the taste testing of new foods at my school. The food at my school is notoriously horrible. I guess somebody finally realised this and decided to get new food. They picked at random a few dozen people from various classes and called them into a room to taste the new stuff. Joey was one of them.
When he got back to Spanish, Joey's pockets were bulging with food. He produced several muffins, which Steve and I devoured ravenously.
[Steve and I finish our muffins.]
Joey: Man, the pizza was pretty good, too.
Me: What? You brought us muffins when there was pizza?
Joey: Erm... yes.
Steve: Muffins rather than pizza? Really?
Joey: Yeah.
Me: Dude, Joey, pizza trumps muffins by a long shot.
Joey: But... I like muffins.
I had to research voice acting as a career for speech class, so I looked in the most relevant book I could find.
Nothing on voice acting, but plenty of gender bias.
What, so stuntwomen get a section separate from stuntmen?
No, wait.
David is either confused or misnamed.
This excretion is marked with labels:
school
My friend Danny, the hardcore Christian, told me one day in computer science class that he was going to an FCA meeting.
"FCA," I asked. "What manner of acronym is that?" I tried a few combinations that would have fit the abbreviation:
This excretion is marked with labels:
pointless acronyms,
school
Finally, a picture of Dane that doesn't show his face blurred or covered. He was beginning to gain a reputation as the anonymous man.
Anyway, Dane was sitting there in Computer Science when Ian, right next to him, got a text message.
Dane was... unhappy.
Yes, I really do know Steve (Plexilate) and Joey (Fanoto) from the Cbox. They're in my Spanish class, and they're both dumbasses.
Steve is the sort of dumbass who puts his clothes on wrong,
and then doesn't fix them.
Joey distracts me from my diligent work with his astounding magic tricks.
Steve also sometimes challenges me to "punch wars."
Yeah, I usually pussy out first. Kind of like with Austin and his ultra-painful high fives.
Yeah, yeah, I know. It's been, like, forever and a half since Jake or I posted last. Hopefully we still have a reader or two.
I'm in this Computer Science class at school. Most of you know this, since we're classmates.
So I'm waiting for my shit computer to boot up one day, when it gives me this error message.
Erm...
What seems to be the problem?
The great thing about this is that most Windows error messages aren't much more helpful than this.
Oh, I nearly forgot!
Dexter of the Day:
"Oh yeah! A little to the left." -Dexter
Behold! The versatile, powerful hot glue gun.
It's great for fastening things.
I got the bright idea to fasten a cotton ball to my chin so that I'd look like Colonel Sanders.
That weird face I'm making?
It turns out that hot glue is fucking hot!
Then Steve thought it would be cool to rip it off.
As Honesty (the 'H' is pronounced) points out...
Second-degree burns and the tearing of flesh don't go well together.
Learn from my experience, children. Never hot-glue anything to your chin, then rip it off.
You know how every girl in the whole school always bitches about their yearbook picture?
They whine and cry and tell everyone not to look because of how awful it is. Then you see it and they look positively gorgeous.
Well, check out my stunning school picture.
So I'm sitting in history class, 8th period. Pretty boring. We're doing a chapter on Hammurabi, who was the first ruler to make a written set of laws available to the public.
Mrs. Nolan says "Ok, everyone, on a sheet of paper, write down some basic laws that most countries have today."
I'll translate my dysgraphic handwriting:
Don't kill people
Don't steal stuff
Don't cheat people out of money
Don't smoke stuff that the king thinks you shouldn't smoke
Don't hit people
And don't mind the odd shape off to the side. It's a doodle on the other side of the paper that only makes sense in the context of that class period.
Anyway, when I read my list aloud, Mrs. Nolan said "Yeah, so most of those were laws in ancient times, too, except for the rug laws."
Rug laws? "What laws?" I asked, a bit puzzled.
"The kinds of laws where a government may not want its citizens using certain recreational rugs."
Rugs? Drugs, maybe? Somehow the "D" in "drugs" got dropped twice. I had to doodle it!
Getting high on rugs: slightly more expensive than pot, but much more fun to tell people about.
You probably remember Cole. He's in my English class this year!
This, dear readers, is the two-hundredth post on ChasingDucks.com.
We've come a long way, starting out as PD's Crazy Photo Blog with infrequent, uninteresting posts and no readers.
Now we post most days, have three authors, are slightly more interesting and have almost as many readers as authors.
Nothing too big for 200; I'm saving the bonanza for our one-year anniversary.
I have a special treat for you today. Most of you (my current readers) go to my school, so you've probably seen this.
I present to you the result of my teacher saying "you have 25 minutes to write whatever you want.":
My Troubled Relationship with Robert
By Robert Gilmore (that's me)
I woke up in the middle of the night. I'd been poked. Ugh. Robert again.
He's become more tolerable since school began (he's not around so often), but his requests are now far more demanding.
Moaning a bit, I stirred and blinked trying to rouse myself from my dead sleep just moments before. It seemed to take longer than last time. My age is definitely showing. Impatiently, Robert placed his hand on me, shaking me lightly, as if it would somehow wake me up faster.
I don't know why I bother. I know how he secretly hates me. He just uses me, because there's no other option. He'd drop me in a heartbeat for some young, slim beauty; he just doesn't have the money.
I was awake now. In the dim light, he stared at me impatiently. His hand was still resting on me from trying to coax me from my sleep. His hand continued to move, more slowly now, deliberately. Down and to the left. He pressed his finger down lightly.
Just out of defiance, I didn't respond. Almost angrily, he clicked the Start button again. This time, I dutifully popped up the Start menu. I'm such a patsy. He moved the pointer up to Microsoft Word.
"Got a big report due tomorrow," he said.
I could tell there was a long night ahead of me.
I hate school-assigned reading projects.
Don't get me wrong; I love reading, just not for school. Now, if my English class did a science fiction unit, I'd seem like an over-achiever. But nooooooo! They've got to go and read old, worthless novels like Don Quixote, Brave New World, The Once and Future King, Fahrenheit 451, To Kill a Mockingbird and 1984.
Ok, so I somewhat enjoyed 1984 and Fahrenheit 451, but they're still a bit on the old and long-winded side, much like my freshman English teacher.
My sophomore English teacher, on the other hand, is another story entirely. You'll have to take my word for it that she's better-looking than most of the good-looking students, but that's not why I liked her class. I liked her class because she was new to teaching, and consequently viewed it from an un-jaded perspective, unlike most teachers. I grew very fond of being treated human, having fun and learning, all at the same time. She was, quite possibly, the best English teacher in the known universe; that is, until she made us read The Once and Future King.
I wasn't too fond of its bleak repetition and endless descriptions of unimportant things.
Dane, however, seemed intrigued. He spent the full hour each reading day with his nose buried deep in his book.
I broke his concentration when I took this picture. See? Look at his hands. He's already jumped a bit when the picture was shot.
Incidentally, that first picture reminds me of something.
Quote of the Day time! It's a dual-quote day, so we have two quotes, both of which congrue with my opinion on The Once and Future King.
Quote of the Day
The covers of this book are too far apart.
-Ambrose Bierce
From the moment I picked up your book until the moment I put it down, I could not stop laughing. Someday I hope to read it.
-Groucho Marx
During the school year, there's a class right before lunch called "advisory". It's a sort of study hall, but I always spend the period in my Spanish teacher's classroom. She doesn't make us study.
Who needs studying, anyway, when you have scissors?
Dane and I certainly don't. Destroying random objects with scissors is great fun.
I'm not really sure what I expected to happen, but I was thoroughly surprised when the head came off the lid of this glue bottle.
I cleft it not in twain; nary! The thing just popped right off.
The problem was that we couldn't get it back on.
So, I did my best to hide the broken bottle and look as inconspicuous as I could.
Thankfully, Mrs. Scott wasn't paying any attention.
She's next to Dane's blurred head.
Quote of the Day
There are 10 types of people in the world: those who understand binary and those who don't.
Some people at my school don't park properly.
I wouldn't consider myself one of them.
The school, however, rather that forcing the marching band to practice in a different spot, makes the students go find a parking spot that's not in thew way of the band.
I don't have a picture of it, but one day I parked just next to a properly parked car, essentially creating a new row of parking spots. Others soon followed suit. Now, we weren't double parked, as none of us were blocking other cars from leaving.
But, the school got its panties in a knot and gave me detention for parking where I did.
Where the fuck else am I supposed to park?
I kid you not: they told me to park in the back of the parking lot. See my car? It's that whitish dot in the back-right corner of the parking lot.
There would have been a long line of cars parked out there with me, had I taken the picture earlier, but this is after I got out of detention.
Here it is closer up.
Quote of the Day
Blessed is the man who, having nothing to say, abstains from giving wordy evidence of the fact.
-George Eliot
This excretion is marked with labels:
school
This is Mrs. Magnon, she was my World Geography teacher.
Most people think she's not a Sith Lord. But she is.
As you see, she is planning on attacking Europe. Perhaps she will form an alliance with Isaac.
Before you ask, "How could such an innocent, happy looking woman invade Europe?" You might want to meet her other side.
Quote of the Day
Do not underestimate the power of the Dark Side.
-Darth Vader
This excretion is marked with labels:
photoshop/fireworks,
school
Being dysgraphic sucks when I have to write on a worksheet.
But Dane, your little drawing under my work is way more n00bish than my writing.
Some of us never recovered...
Doritos aren't very good for you.
They won't even tell you how much cholesterol is in them.
All they say is, "Cholesterol... OMG!"
On another note, I stuck a fork through two oranges.
